


Butterfly Effect

by SquirrelNo2



Series: Instrument of Chaos [10]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28722126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquirrelNo2/pseuds/SquirrelNo2
Summary: When things change, there are a lot of people who want to know why. It's a good thing Flynn and Carrie have recently gotten much better at talking to people about their problems.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters & Carrie Wilson, Flynn & Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Flynn & Julie Molina, Flynn & Nick (Julie and The Phantoms), Flynn/Carrie Wilson, Julie Molina & Carrie Wilson, Kayla & Carrie Wilson, Nick & Carrie Wilson
Series: Instrument of Chaos [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953958
Comments: 85
Kudos: 76





	1. Kayla

**Author's Note:**

> In a similar fashion to Blame Game, each one of these focuses on a specific relationship (or, actually, two - Carrie's relationship with a person or group, and Flynn's.) We're sort of... building up to Julie.  
> This first chapter is Kayla's, because she deserves better than "she doesn't remember Carrie because she doesn't love her enough?" - she does love Carrie. Just not the way the Instrument wanted her to. It's all very arbitrary and my excuse is that a nonhuman mind is in charge, but really it's for maximum writing fun times.  
> Anyway, I love Kayla now, enjoy.

Carrie tried to listen as Kayla talked, she really did, but there was so much to think about that _wasn’t_ math homework. Finally, Kayla huffed and crossed her arms.

“What is it?” she asked.

Carrie tapped the edge of her binder nervously as they rounded the corner. Flynn and Julie were just heading into their own classroom, and Flynn caught Carrie’s eyes and smiled at her just as the door closed.

“Carrie,” Kayla prompted. “You’re being weird today.”

Carrie’s impulse was to snap out something that would reassure Kayla she was the same person she was every day, but that was the whole problem. She’d promised Flynn she’d do better.

“Sorry,” Carrie said.

Kayla stopped walking. Carrie turned to her, confused.

“Ok, first thing,” Kayla said, shaking her head as she caught back up to Carrie. “Let’s start with, you hate Flynn.”

“I don’t hate Flynn,” Carrie muttered.

“Well, you used to. Or you tried very hard to make sure everybody thought you hated Flynn. It’s kind of hard to tell with you,” Kayla said. “Anyway, after you got mad at me for asking Julie about her holograms, I’m trying to keep better track of who we’re not supposed to speak of.”

Carrie grimaced at the floor.

“Carrie, you’re freaking me out,” Kayla said.

“Are we friends?” Carrie blurted. They reached their next class. Kayla paused with her hand on the door.

“Is this some kind of trick question? Are you disowning me? You’re not kicking me out of Dirty Candi, are you?”

“No!” Carrie said hastily. “I mean – do you want to go?”

“Carrie, if I wanted out I would quit. What is _with_ you?”

A boy in their class coughed nervously, hovering nearby because they were blocking the door. Carrie glared at him out of habit, and he took a few steps back. Remembering what she was trying to ask and why, Carrie rolled her eyes and opened the door.

“Go ahead,” she said impatiently when he hesitated. “People like you are the reason chivalry is dead, clearly.”

She let the door swing shut, revealing Kayla staring at her with a bemused expression.

“What?” Carrie snapped. “Look, just tell me the truth.”

“Of course we’re friends,” Kayla said. “I wouldn’t put up with you if we weren’t. But if you really want the truth, Carrie… sometimes I wish you were different. Nicer, maybe. Somebody who’d let me in once in a while. I feel like I’m your friend, but I don’t always get the feeling you’re mine.”

Regret flooded Kayla’s face as soon as she was done.

“I didn’t mean – Carrie, I’m so sorry –“

“It’s ok,” Carrie said. Considering the mental images she’d had of Kayla denouncing her for the terrible person she was and taking the rest of Dirty Candi with her, this was the best reply Carrie could have received. “I get it.”

Kayla still looked nervous.

“I’m trying to do better,” Carrie admitted to her. “At… being a good friend. I want you to…”

 _Remember me_ , Carrie didn’t say.

“Ok,” Kayla said. “I’m still half-convinced you’re on something right now, but if you are hopefully you won’t remember this when you come down and I won’t get in trouble. And hey, if you’re not, good for you.”

“Yeah, see, that sounds kind of meaner than a friend would be,” Carrie said as they finally went into class.

“Carrie, I’m friends with you, mean is a love language,” Kayla said.

“Flynn!”

Of all the people who might have called Flynn’s name, Kayla was incredibly far down on the list. Flynn tried not to stare too incredulously.

“Can I help you?” she asked. Had Carrie told her? _What_ had Carrie told her? Was this good, or a disaster?

“Look, I… don’t know what’s up with you and Carrie exactly,” Kayla said.

“What did she tell you?” Flynn asked. Labels, though, they’d really talked about kissing each other on the cheek and hadn’t even discussed what they were calling each other! Sure, they were out, but were they _disclosing_ things? Was Flynn expected to disclose? No, that would be weird.

“You look like you’re about to explode,” Kayla observed.

“Well, you haven’t answered me,” Flynn said, which was not a great comeback but was true.

“She said you were dating maybe?”

“Definitely,” Flynn said. “Um. The maybe was probably her being weird, because it’s me, and it’s her, but if that’s the case, then I am confirming. It’s a definitely. That’s not why you’re here, is it?”

“No,” Kayla said. “But… I’m sure Carrie will appreciate the confirmation. When you… actually say it to her.”

“Why are you here?”

“Carrie’s been really weird lately,” Kayla said. “Maybe it’s good. But if you mess with her – if this is you levelling up your insane revenge schemes – you’re going to find out why Carrie and I get along so well.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Flynn said solemnly. “I swear, Kayla. And if I do mess it up, and we can’t fix it, you are well within your rights to verbally disembowel me.”

Kayla nodded. She looked even more confused than she had when she first approached Flynn.

“Ok,” she said. “I guess it’s only fair to say that Julie could do the same to Carrie, if that happened.”

Flynn laughed.

“She wouldn’t,” Flynn said. “But I’ll let her know she has your permission.”

“You guys are really serious about this?” Kayla asked. “I mean – when did that happen?”

Flynn frowned. It was weird, seeing Kayla so protective over Carrie when she hadn’t even remembered Carrie in the other timeline. But then again, it wasn’t like any of them knew how this stuff worked. “Love as they are” was a really vague term, and it wasn’t like Ava was the most trustworthy source of exposition.

“This weekend,” Flynn said. “There was… some family drama. We talked.”

“Well,” Kayla said. “I guess if you were alone in a room and you didn’t murder each other, that _is_ improvement.”

“What can I say, I’m full of personal growth,” Flynn said. “Is your best friend instinct satisfied?”

Kayla smirked at her, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“For now,” she said. “Don’t mess up.”

“You know people don’t usually plan on that, right?” Flynn called as Kayla walked away.


	2. Nick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carrie holds to her resolution to open up more, and Flynn checks on her friend. Nick is pleasantly surprised by everything going on around him.

Carrie had no idea if Nick would remember the other timeline or not. Flynn hadn’t known, when she asked. There was only one way to find out, and the thought of it made Carrie’s stomach squirm.

She pulled him aside after music class.

“Carrie,” Nick said. “What now?”

It was a pretty neutral tone of voice, but Carrie knew Nick. ‘Neutral’ was about as close as he got to showing displeasure.

“You don’t remember,” she said.

Nick frowned, taking a look around.

“Remember what?” he said, with a little less neutrality than before.

“Nothing, never mind,” Carrie said.

“Whoa, hey, Carrie,” Nick said, reaching out to her. She stopped when he touched her arm. “Carrie, what is it?”

“Flynn and I time-travelled,” she whispered.

“Wait, what?” Nick moved closer to the wall, letting other students stream by as he leaned in close to Carrie.

“We kind of erased me from existence for a week? On accident?” Carrie said. “Except you remembered me. Because you… care about me.”

The last part she had to force out in a quiet grumble. It was a _weird_ thing to say, all right?

Nick leaned away, looking alarmed.

“Uh, Carrie –“

“Also in the other timeline I told you I was a lesbian and you came out to me,” Carrie said in a rush, really not eager to deal with _that_ misunderstanding. “So we’re good, right?”

Nick looked first relieved, then confused.

“Good?” he said.

“We can be friends,” Carrie said. “If I’m – if I’m better at being your friend, we can be friends.”

She felt like a five-year-old picking her forever best friend on the playground. That had been Flynn, actually, as a joint decision between her and Julie – kind of a weird parallel, now that she thought about it.

“I’d like that,” Nick said. “And when you say better, you mean…”

“I’m going to apologise to Julie,” Carrie said. “I don’t know when. I’m still trying to figure out what I should say.”

“Is it weird to say I’m proud of you?” Nick asked.

Carrie rolled her eyes.

“No, because you should be proud of me. I’m amazing,” she said. “And thank you.”

Nick cocked his head like she’d just told a really weird joke.

“For what? Being proud of you?”

“No,” Carrie scoffed. Honestly, he was really drawing this out unnecessarily. Typical Nick. “You said a lot of helpful things to me, and I didn’t get the chance to thank you before, so I’m thanking you now.”

“I didn’t really say them,” he pointed out.

“That’s like saying we never dated because I come from the timeline from before we went back,” Carrie said. “Honestly, Nick, if you want to drive yourself crazy with that one, go ahead, but I have much better things to do with my time.”

He laughed.

“We should get to class,” he said. “Passing period’s almost up.”

Carrie nodded.

“Thank you,” Nick said before she left. “For telling me. I know that kind of thing isn’t easy for you.”

“Ugh,” Carrie said, wrinkling her nose. “I hate when people _know_ things.”

“Sure, Carrie,” Nick said. Carrie smiled to herself as they parted ways.

Nick sat with Flynn and Julie during lunch.

“So,” he said. “You time-travelled with Carrie?”

“Twice,” Flynn said. “She told you?”

“A little bit,” Nick said. “Mostly about stuff we said to each other.”

“So _Carrie_ told _you_ what happened?” Julie said, raising her eyebrows at Flynn.

“I told you!” Flynn protested.

“None of the details!” Julie exclaimed.

“Because that is going to take a million years, Jules, trust me on this,” Flynn said. She remembered lying to Julie in the other timeline, and ducked her head. From behind her braids, she muttered, “I promise I’ll tell you everything when we get the chance.”

“I know,” Julie said. “I’m teasing.” She reached out and tapped Flynn’s hand. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Flynn said. “I’m fine! Mostly,” she added when she saw the sceptical looks on Nick and Julie’s faces.

“Well, if you need to scream,” Nick said to Flynn with a conspiratorial grin.

“For _days_ ,” Flynn said. “I know I was the one who brought it up to her, but I cannot believe we’re dating.”

“Wait, what?” Nick blurted. Julie nodded at him with a sympathetic look on her face.

“The world has gone crazy,” Julie said, laughing when Flynn threw a paper napkin at her.

“Carrie and I are dating,” Flynn said. “Surprise? I guess I should ask if you have any advice.”

“Uh,” Nick said. “I mean, as a general dating pro-tip maybe try actually being romantically attracted to your girlfriend?”

Julie performed what would have been an impressive spit-take if she’d been drinking water. Flynn tried to work out what a good response to that would be.

“I’ve got that covered?” she said finally. “But it’s a good note.”

“Oh, my god, Nick!” Julie exclaimed.

“That’s really how you decided to come out to us?” Flynn said. Nick shrugged.

“Apparently the other timeline me came out to her, and I kind of liked that I didn’t have to sit anybody down and explain it.”

“Ok, that does make sense,” Flynn said.

“I know what you mean,” Julie murmured. She glanced at the clock. “Do you guys think I have time to run to the bathroom before lunch ends?”

“I can take your stuff to class if you don’t get back in time,” Nick offered. She smiled at him and hurried off.

“Nick,” Flynn said.

“Flynn,” he said. He grinned slightly. “Flynnie-poo.”

“I will murder you,” Flynn said as he laughed.

“What is it?” Nick asked once he got his breath back.

“You don’t mind that all we ever do is freak out at each other, right?” Flynn said. “I mean, we say we’re friends and we only ever talk about ghost stuff. You don’t… feel left out?”

“I’m in on _ghost stuff_ , Flynn, that’s about the opposite of being left out,” Nick said.

“Nick,” Flynn said sternly. He sighed, taking the last bite of his sandwich as he stared around the lunchroom. When he swallowed, he met Flynn’s gaze once more.

“I came in a lot later than any of you,” he said. “And I don’t have magic ghost powers, or magic band manager powers. So it’s not like I’m going to be useful. That’s ok.”

“Friends don’t have to be useful,” Flynn said, because it was much easier to say that to him than it was to herself.

“I know, that’s the point,” Nick said. “I do what I can when you guys need it, and the rest of the time, I’m ok with being the dude you hang out with at lunch. And apparently, who gives you girlfriend advice.”

“Oh my god,” Flynn said.

“She likes it when you stand with your arm around her shoulder,” Nick added.

“Nick! Shut up!” Flynn buried her face in her hands.

After a moment, her curiosity got the better of her and she lifted her head.

“What else?” Flynn asked him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised this is the tenth fic (10!!!) in this series and I didn't even remark upon it when this fic started. Hey guess what I really can't shut up. You're all welcome I guess?  
> I pondered letting Nick remember, but it would fly in the face of implications set earlier in the series about what happens when Ava did her chaotic thing, and this gives Carrie and Flynn the chance to show how they've changed. Both of them would, before their adventure and subsequent facing of music, have just glossed over things. Now they're offering details and making sure everybody knows, even if it is taking them a little time.  
> (catch me crying over fictional characters whose personal growth is something I made up)  
> Anyway, we've got the Phantoms coming up next, and yes to those of you who read the stuff I say in comments - we will finally be getting that Reggie and Carrie hug.


	3. The Phantoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ghosts give the best hugs. Assuming you can touch them. But still.

Flynn had planned to join Julie in the studio after school, and tell her and the guys everything all at once. Naturally, just before Flynn was about to get started on the explanation, Julie’s dad asked for her to come help him with something in the house.

“I’ll be back,” Julie groaned.

“It is your studio, it’d be weird if you weren’t,” Flynn called after her. Flynn turned back to the guys and sighed. Willie poofed into the spot next to her on the couch, sitting cross-legged and facing her.

“Was it really bad?” he asked.

“Carrie didn’t _exist_ ,” Flynn said. “And before that, we were in the past and we were pretending to be a couple lesbians who got kicked out of our house and you guys didn’t recognise us –“

“Wait, that was you?” Alex asked. Flynn was confused for a moment before she remembered that she’d only told them about it in the other timeline.

“I’m so glad I don’t have to keep _that_ secret anymore,” Willie exclaimed. “I thought I was going _crazy_ when I met you, Flynn.”

“Wait, you saw her in the past, too? And you recognised Flynn? Why didn’t we recognise you?” Reggie sounded incredibly disappointed.

“That is another one of the things I wanted to tell Julie about,” Flynn said. She groaned as she realised her list was still growing. “For now, let’s just say we found somebody who knew way more about magic than Carrie or me, and also was way nicer than Caleb.”

Willie grimaced.

“How was it after we left?” Flynn asked him.

“How was what?” Luke said sharply, looking between Flynn and Willie. “You didn’t talk to Caleb, did you?”

“They did,” Willie said. Flynn stuck her tongue out at him, and he shrugged. “He didn’t blame me for it, though. It helped that I had no idea what happened, either.”

That was a relief, though Flynn still hated that Willie had just… been there for so long.

“It’s ok, Flynn,” Willie said, gripping her shoulder with a reassuring smile. “I’m ok.”

“Must’ve been hard, with none of us remembering you,” Luke said.

“Yeah, you need a hug?” Reggie offered.

“I wouldn’t say no to one,” Flynn said. Reggie darted in for the hug. Luke started to follow but Alex held up a hand.

“If we don’t go for the group hug, Flynn gets more hugs that way,” Alex pointed out.

“Dude, you’re a genius,” Reggie said. “But she also deserves a group hug.”

“Are you guys seriously planning a hug schedule for me?” Flynn asked.

“Yeah,” Luke said. “I think what we do is we group hug in between every hug.”

“Luke, if we try that we’ll end up getting tangled together at best. Probably somebody gets trampled. We could sort of pass it off, one person adds on to the previous hug and then the first person leaves.” Alex, who Flynn usually trusted to at least pretend to be sensible, had betrayed her.

“One group hug, at the end, all I need,” Flynn said as Reggie finally let go and practically shoved Luke at her. “Ugh. Boys.”

“Are you sure you don’t want more hugs?” said Willie in a tone that clearly told Flynn he was saying it specifically to torment her.

“Let’s keep it special,” Flynn said, topping a sickly smile with a death glare.

By the time it was Alex’s turn to hug her, he looked like he was regretting his life choices.

“Yeah, it feels weird, doesn’t it?” Flynn said with no sympathy whatsoever.

“No,” Alex said, obviously lying.

Flynn took pity on him, and reached out to pull him onto the couch for a proper hug angle.

“It means a lot, even if it is really stupid,” she said. “I was – I told the other you about it. And I won’t get into the details until Julie’s here. But I was worried for a while that I wasn’t… part of your group.”

Alex’s arms tightened around her.

“What do you mean?” Reggie asked. “Flynn, you’re awesome. And you usually talk like you know it.”

Alex pulled away as Luke leaned in, one knee on the coffee table, staring at her with an intensity he usually reserved for Julie, Reggie, and sheet music.

“You know this band wouldn’t exist without you, right?” he said.

Flynn laughed.

“Yeah, I know,” she said. “You told me.”

“Wait, when did – ohhh.” Reggie nodded sagely as Luke grinned.

“I’m gonna tell Julie you’re too old for her, you’re going senile,” Flynn announced as Luke pulled her in for another hug. She shoved half-heartedly at his shoulder. “You’re repeating yourself.”

“Yeah, we love you too, Flynn,” Luke said. The other guys piled on, this time including Willie, and Flynn resigned herself to being looked after for the rest of the day.

Carrie should have expected the astonished look on Ray’s face when he saw her on the Molinas’ doorstep.

“I need – Can I talk to Julie?” Carrie asked.

“I’ll let her know you’re here,” Ray said. “You can wait in the studio, if you like? Flynn’s in there, though.”

Carrie wrinkled her nose, both at his noncommittal response and at the fact that he was almost certainly sending her to the studio so Flynn and the ghosts could vet her before she talked to Julie.

“Sure,” Carrie said, because she didn’t like that even Ray didn’t trust her.

When she entered the studio, she was surprised to find that she could still see the ghosts – or maybe that was some other random group of teenage boys clinging to her girlfriend.

Yeah, she could still see ghosts.

“Hi,” Carrie said.

“Carrie!” Flynn exclaimed, trying to leave the hug and causing Reggie to fall onto the coffee table. Luke nearly toppled off the end of the couch and had to wave his arms wildly to correct himself.

“Hey, Flynn,” Carrie said, the tension in her shoulders easing just a bit.

“Dude, it’s Carrie!” Reggie pointed out, tapping Alex on the arm.

“I can see her, too, Reg,” Alex said as Willie snickered.

“Wow, we can all see each other, let’s throw a parade,” Carrie said.

This time Luke really did fall off the end of the couch. Flynn burst into laughter that was barely muffled by both of her hands over her mouth. Alex covered his eyes in embarrassment.

“Hi,” Reggie said. “I’m Reggie!”

“I know,” Carrie said. “Did you not tell them?”

“Sometimes you gotta let them reboot,” Flynn said. “We’re just turning them off and back on again.”

“Oh!” Reggie exclaimed as Luke stood. “Dude, Carrie probably got to know us when she didn’t exist!”

“I really hate that that’s a normal sentence for us,” Alex said.

“So… why are you here?” Luke asked, folding his arms as he eyed Carrie. “I thought you hated Julie.”

Carrie hadn’t known how much detail Julie and Flynn had gone into about her. It wasn’t like the other version of Luke had been much friendlier to her, having met her when she was taking all her anger out on Julie, but it still felt weird to be confronted by this.

“Carrie’s cool now,” Flynn said. “We talked a lot of stuff out.”

Luke looked at her, then let his arms drop.

“I’m here to apologise to her,” Carrie said softly.

Flynn took her hand. The guys didn’t seem to notice, except for Willie, who raised his eyebrows.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he said to Carrie. “Probably more for me than you, though, huh?”

“Oh, that’s right!” Reggie exclaimed before Carrie could respond. “I bet you got to know us, huh? And now we don’t even know you, and you’re trying to be friends with Julie and everything! Do you need a hug? Because I’m in the hug zone, and I am happy to provide.”

As he said this, he approached, arms outstretched. Carrie kind of did want a hug, not that she’d admit it, so she let him hug her and brought her free hand up to gently pat him on the back.

To cover for it, she said, “Why are you like this?”

“See? She knows what I’m like!” Reggie exclaimed.

“Yeah, because the immediate decision to _hug_ her wasn’t a giveaway,” Alex said. Carrie thought maybe he was her new favourite ghost.

“Oh, I think if Carrie didn’t want to be hugged, she’d tell us,” Flynn said like the absolute traitor she was. Carrie panicked when she saw Luke perk up in interest.

“If any of you so much as thinks the words ‘group hug’ I will be forced to commit ghost murder, and then all you will have accomplished is upsetting Julie,” Carrie threatened them.

To her surprise, Luke laughed.

“Ok, now I see how you and Flynn were friends,” he said.

“I’m so sorry, Carlos needed help moving something in his room and then Dad said that – Carrie?”

It was Julie, standing absolutely still in the doorway of the studio, gaping at Carrie.

Carrie jumped away from Reggie and Flynn like she’d been burned. Would Julie be upset that she’d caught her boyfriend hugging her ex-friend? That Flynn had just stood by and let it happen, and held Carrie’s hand while it did?

“Hey, Julie,” Reggie said, blissfully unaware of Carrie’s fear. To Carrie’s relief, Julie just smiled at him and cupped his cheek.

“Hey,” she said, accepting the hug Luke offered her when he reached her. “Can you guys give us a minute?”

“Yeah, we’ll go… look at the flowers,” Alex said, nearly shoving Luke and Reggie out the doors. Willie smiled encouragingly at Carrie before he left.

“Julie…” Flynn said.

“Flynn,” Julie said. She met Carrie’s eyes for a second, then looked back to Flynn. “Just a minute?”

Flynn lifted her hand like she wanted to reach out to Carrie, but Carrie couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge the motion. Her stomach was buzzing and rolling and stiff all at once, it felt like, and it was all she could do just to keep her eyes locked on Julie.

“Ok,” Flynn said. “I’ll be outside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did Alex decide they needed a hug system? I don't know, but he's not wrong, you do technically get more hugs that way  
> In the moment where Luke is half on the coffee table, staring at Flynn, I imagine it like when he recites Flying Solo to Julie - full circle. Even before they knew Flynn, they knew she mattered. No I'm not crying what?  
> And now we've reached the moment we're all anticipating, or we will tomorrow once I've written it fully: Julie gets an apology, and an explanation. If you thought I was all about that emotional catharsis before, well - in many ways the last two big fics have been leading to this moment and oh wow that's a lot of pressure I have put on myself. The Julie-Flynn-Carrie dynamic is... so important to this section of the series, and it's been so weird writing it thus far without much Julie. I'm excited to bring my girl back in to see how things can work now.


	4. Julie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things change, but some things stay the same.

When Flynn left, Julie turned to watch her go. Carrie waited, but Julie kept her back to her. Carrie could see the stiffness in Julie’s shoulders, the nervous tapping of her fingers against each other, the shallow breaths she was taking.

“Julie,” Carrie said. It was still a good ten seconds before Julie turned around. When she finally did look at Carrie, her face was polite but distant.

“I’m sorry,” Carrie said. “The things I’ve said to you… I had a lot of reasons, but I don’t have any excuse.”

“Yeah,” Julie said. “You don’t.”

“I couldn’t be nice to you after your mom died, because all I could think about was how much I hated it when people were nice to me just because they pity me,” Carrie blurted. “I know there were better ways to do that. I know you’re not me. I just… never learned how to be wrong.”

Julie nodded slowly. She was searching Carrie’s face for something. Carrie didn’t know what to give her.

“Look, I… I really like Flynn. And you are her best friend, and if I hurt you again I think she’d murder me in my sleep no matter how much she likes me. The biggest concession I’d get would be the ‘in my sleep’ part. So I don’t need you to forgive me or trust me or be my friend, but I need you to know that I want to do better.”

Carrie swallowed. Julie was silent for a few more seconds.

“So this is all for Flynn?” Julie said.

“No,” Carrie said. “I – it started because of me. We wouldn’t have made it back if I hadn’t played nice with Flynn. And then – I started to like that we were friends again. So after that I couldn’t ignore the way I hurt you anymore.”

Who _was_ she doing this for?

“I’m here for Flynn,” Carrie admitted. “But also for me. And you. Closure.”

Julie glanced at the door. Carrie could only guess what she was thinking, but Carrie herself was thinking about how long her dad had left it, and how little he’d been able to do to fix his mistakes.

“I don’t want to be Trevor Wilson, junior,” Carrie said out loud. Julie jerked her head around sharply.

“You know about that?” she asked.

“I do now,” Carrie said.

Julie’s shoulders dropped. She brushed some hair back from her face and adjusted her glasses. Carrie was positive that was Julie trying to buy time, but she wasn’t going to call her out on it. Carrie had blurted out enough already. She was willing to wait.

“Why did you stop being our friend?” she asked finally.

This was something Carrie had never quite admitted, not even to Flynn, though she’d probably pieced the feelings together if not the events that caused them.

“You remember that show in junior high, the talent show,” Carrie said. “I think that was the one that made Flynn’s parents decide to send her to Los Feliz with us for the music program.”

“I remember,” Julie said quietly.

“You and Flynn never even asked if I wanted to perform with you,” Carrie said.

“You always said no,” Julie said.

“Yeah,” Carrie said. “Look, we were thirteen, I didn’t say it made a lot of sense. But it was like that for years before I did anything about it. You knew I wouldn’t say yes, so you stopped asking. And I thought – I thought that if Flynn was the only one who mattered to you, and you were the only one who mattered to her, why should I even bother? I thought there was no point when neither one of you ever picked me first.”

Julie looked horrified.

“Carrie,” she said.

“I realised, this last week,” Carrie barrelled through. She was a different person now, but she still wasn’t going to sit there and take Julie’s pity. If that meant she had to be honest for just a little longer, so be it. “The two people I look up to the most feel the exact same way, and they never let it stop them from being good friends.”

Carrie made a face as she thought about that a little more.

“Ok, so my dad wasn’t a great friend, but he was a good one when your band was still alive. My point is –“

“We made you feel like you didn’t belong,” Julie said.

Rude. This was _Carrie’s_ apology, and it had taken her so long to accept it was hers to make. No way was Julie’s guilty conscience going to take this away from her now.

“I did,” Carrie insisted. “I made myself feel that way.”

“Maybe, but I did spend more time with Flynn,” Julie said. “I’d known you so long, I thought we’d be friends forever. I took you for granted.”

“Maybe,” Carrie said. That had certainly been how it felt. “But you were a kid.”

“Yeah,” Julie said, looking at her thoughtfully. “Look, Carrie, if Flynn trusts you then I’ll try. But if you hurt her, or any of my friends, there’s no coming back this time.” Carrie noticed Julie hadn’t included herself in that. She and Flynn really were a lot alike.

“If I do mess up,” Carrie said. “It won’t be on purpose. Will you tell me?”

“Ok,” Julie said.

“Ok,” Carrie replied. She felt like a balloon slipping out of a child’s hand. Who was Carrie now that the last of the old her had been addressed?

“Thank you for being there for Flynn,” Julie said softly.

Oh. That’s right. Carrie was trying to be someone better.

“Do you think it’s safe to go back in?” Luke asked, starting to peer into the studio before Flynn dragged him away.

“Let them _talk_ ,” Flynn snapped. “You won’t die again because you weren’t with Julie for five minutes.”

The others snickered. Flynn thought that was especially rich coming from Reggie, who was just as bad as Luke.

As if summoned by Luke’s impatience, Carrie left the studio.

“How’d it go?” Flynn asked her. She saw Julie standing in the doorway behind Carrie, arms wrapped around her middle. The posture reminded her of how Julie had been before she met the guys, and it filled her with fear.

“It went good,” Carrie said with a smile. “I think. I mean, it was awful and I never want to say any of that again, but I think we’re ok.”

Flynn looked past her at Julie again, who smiled at her.

“You should stick around to help me tell the whole story,” Flynn offered. She really didn’t want to do it alone.

“I… don’t know if I should,” Carrie said, glancing back at Julie again. “Besides, I have to meet up with Kayla at my place in an hour. Dirty Candi stuff.”

“Traitor,” Flynn said. “Have a good time.”

Filled with mysterious bravery, she leaned in and kissed Carrie on the cheek. When she pulled away, Flynn was pleased to see Carrie looking like she’d had a cartoon anvil dropped on her head. Carrie made a tiny squeaking noise.

“See you tomorrow, Carrie,” Flynn said, deciding now was the perfect time to saunter inside.

The last thing she heard from Carrie before she left was a tiny, whispered, “I’m too gay for this.”

“You’re terrible,” Julie said, looking delighted.

“I am a master of revenge,” Flynn said.

“I know, you nearly _egged_ my _house_ ,” Julie said as the guys poured in after them.

The explanation took an hour – Flynn tried to speed through events, but her friends kept asking her to back up and repeat particularly surprising facts about Carrie or Bobby. Finally, she made it back to the present, with the details of her dating Carrie and all.

“First of all, congratulations on the girlfriend,” Willie said. He was the only one who hadn’t interrupted, maybe because so few of the surprises had involved people he knew. “Sorry about the insecurity?”

“Willie!” Julie scolded. Flynn burst out laughing.

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” she said when she’d caught her breath.

“You’re all the worst,” Julie muttered.

“Yeah, but you love us,” Reggie said, leaning in towards her from his spot on the arm of the couch and nearly overbalancing into Julie and Flynn’s laps. Luke, sprawled on the floor by Julie’s legs, reached up to steady him.

“Speaking of,” Julie said, turning to Flynn with a wicked glint in her eye once Reggie was safely balanced again. “What was that about dating ghosts, Flynn?”

“I am not dating a ghost,” Flynn said.

“But you started dating Carrie _when_ she was a ghost,” Julie said. “ _And_ she’s objectively meaner than Luke or Reggie.”

“I – We were going to bring Carrie back. It doesn’t count.”

“It super does count,” Julie said.

“It kind of does,” Alex agreed.

“Alex! Where is the gay solidarity?” Flynn exclaimed.

“He’s agreeing with me because of our solidarity, and also I’m right,” Julie said. The smile on her face dropped just a bit.

“Jules?” Flynn asked. “What’s up?”

When Julie hesitated, Willie jumped in.

“Do you want to talk alone?” he offered.

“I’m not gonna kick you guys out,” Julie protested.

“Hey, you two have been friends forever, if you want to talk to Flynn let us know,” Luke said. That was a change in tune from earlier, but also Flynn was sure he’d be peeking through the windows again as soon as they were out.

“There are a lot of private conversations lately,” Reggie observed.

“Dude,” Alex hissed.

“What? It’s true!”

Flynn rolled her eyes as the guys drifted out once more.

“You know you’ve adopted a bunch of disasters, right?” she said to Julie.

“Well, you were my first disaster, and it worked out pretty well,” Julie said with a laugh. Her smile twitched, then fell.

“Jules, what is it?”

“You really thought you weren’t as important as the guys?” she said. “I mean – we talked about it a bit before, but…”

“No, hey. Julie, I know what we mean to each other,” Flynn said, reaching for her hand. “I don’t doubt that anymore. Not for real. I was actually worried that I didn’t mean much to _them_.”

“They adore you,” Julie muttered. “It’s always like, ‘Is Flynn coming to rehearsal? Is Flynn free to hang out?’ It’s ridiculous.”

Flynn had to admit that sounded like a conversation that would happen with the guys. Especially Reggie. That boy did not know subtlety from a hole in the ground, and had exactly the right amount of braincells to avoid both.

“They made it pretty clear to me where we stand,” Flynn said. “Luke actually tried to use the same metaphor on me twice, but he didn’t remember he’d done it the second time so I’ll give him a pass.”

“Kind of you,” Julie said. They laughed. When they grew quiet again, the silence was calmer.

“Is it weird? Me and Carrie?” Flynn asked.

“Weird? Yeah. But I think maybe it’s a good thing,” Julie said. “I was a little afraid you’d end up asking me for my blessing before you dated anybody.”

“Shut up, I’m not _that_ bad!” Flynn exclaimed, shoving Julie.

“Apparently not, and to prove it you picked the last person I would have actually blessed,” Julie said. She smiled at Flynn. “You seem happy.”

“I’m trying not to think about it too hard, because it’s absolutely bizarre,” Flynn said. “But yeah. I am.”

“Good,” Julie said, wrapping her arm around Flynn and tugging her close. Flynn snuggled in so their shoulders overlapped, and they spent a few comfortable seconds looking around the studio. It was weird, in some ways – still Rose’s studio, with the butterflies and the chairs on the ceiling, the grand piano and the furniture. But the guys’ spare clothes lay in almost-neat piles in one corner, Alex’s drums were set up, guitars sat on stands, and papers covered in Julie and Luke’s handwritings lay on every available songwriting surface from their last writing session.

Things were different now, no longer frozen in time the way things had been after Rose’s death. Relationships were healing, Julie’s music was getting the recognition it deserved, she and Julie had both found romance and new friends – and they were still here, cuddling on the couch, at the end of the day.

“Hey, underachiever,” Flynn said fondly.

“What’s up, disappointment?” Julie asked, squeezing her shoulder.

“I love you,” Flynn said.

“I love you, too,” Julie said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Immediately after this, there's a loud noise from outside because Luke, Alex, and Reggie knocked something over while trying to watch what was happening (Willie was egging them on knowing full well the girls would be annoyed if they saw) but I wanted to end on the Julie and Flynn note.  
> I'm feeling especially sentimental since the last two big fics are like. Culminating everything. The next one has been teased since fairly early in this, and it's going to be a look at just how much things have changed for everybody, and I'm just. Feeling some things.  
> I think I'll be starting the next one by Monday at the latest, because words cannot describe how excited I am to get into these last few stories (and then. i have like ten other ideas folks. we'll be here a while. I'm vibrating with excitement and an excess of fanfic concepts) but it does depend on how quickly i get together an outline of this one - it's going to be significantly longer than the others, I think. You can't see my face but I'm grinning evilly as I type.


End file.
